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Tag: Singlehood

Weekboek IV – Valentijn Special

Vandaag is het Valentijn en die breng ik heel waarschijnlijk alleen door. Tot nu toe heb ik het nog maar één keer gevierd, want ik ben de rest van de tijd altijd hartstikke single. De examens zijn ondertussen voorbij en ik heb net een week Krokusvakantie achter de rug. Ik was zo uitgeput dat ik een week zogoed als heb uitgerust. Romantisch, hé?

Meestal overleef ik de Valentijnsperiode zeer goed. Het doet me normaal niet veel en mijn brein beslist ook intens dit periode te negeren. Dit jaar is anders. Dit jaar valt de Valentijnsmarketing extra hard op, ik weet ook niet waarom, maar ik krijg daar het schijt van! En wat ik creepy vind, is dat ik die eenzaamheid voel, ook omdat al mijn vriendinnen al van ‘t straat zijn en ik nog op de stoep staat te wachten op Mr. Perfect.

Dit jaar heb ik gewoon besloten om kei hard een serie door te knallen met een pot Ben & Jerry’s, opgesloten op mijn kamer. Al hoop ik stiekem dat iemand mij last minute op date vraagt, maar de kans is klein. En om eerlijk te zijn, als ik sommige winkels’ marketing zie, ben ik blij dat ik van een potentiele date geen cadeau krijg:

Action's Valentijnsfolder

Als er ook maar één man op aarde mij een parfum van €1,69 durft te kopen, dan hak ik zijn kop eraf! Het enige voordeel van single zijn op Valentijn is dan ook: Capture d’écran 2016-02-07 à 17.56.30

dat ik die gierige pee niet mee op date hoef te hebben! Halleluyah, anyway!

Ge hebt natuurlijk ook voordelen van daten:

  • Je hebt iemand om je vrije tijd mee door te brengen;
  • Je ziet nieuwe plekken die je als single niet zou zien;
  • Je krijgt chocolades en macarons van Pierre Marcolini (Hopelijk!!)

Macarons,_Pierre_Marcolini,_April_2011

Maar natuurlijk zijn er ook nadelen van daten:

  • Die lul heeft geen tijd om met jou iets te doen tijdens je vrije tijd;
  • Die lul brengt je nergens speciaal naar toe, hooguit de McDonland’s;
  • Die lul weet niet wie Pierre marcolini is en daarom krijg je dan ook geen chocolades en Macarons.

Titanic

All things considered … I’ll stay single for a while.

Until Next Time,

Love | Sarah K.

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Weekboek II: Wandelen

Column 2016

Een ding dat ik voor het nieuwe jaar ben begonnen, dus technisch gezien niet bij mijn “goede voornemens” hoort, is dat ik ben beginnen wandelen. Begrijp me niet verkeerd, ik wandelde al, maar nu is het echt wel next level wandelen. Ik bedacht me ineens dat ik wel wat meer frisse lucht kon gebruiken, en met dit zacht weertje hier in Antwerpen, besloot ik op een zondag namiddag te gaan wandelen en wat van de buurt te verkennen.

Ik woon al 24 jaar (aka héél mijn leven) in Borgerhout en ik ken mijn buurt goed maar op een gegeven moment ben ik niet meer met interesse door mijn buurt heen gegaan en ben ik bepaalde plekken gewoon vergeten! Ondertussen zijn we zoveel jaren verder en ontdekte ik dat ik straatnamen vergeten was, en dat ik bepaalde pleinen hun evolutie niet had meegemaakt. Ik werd daar stiekem droevig van en besloot er iets aan te veranderen. Ik besloot minstens één keer per week (bijvoorbeeld op zondag) een wandeling door mijn stad te doen.

De laatste zondag van 2015 ging ik door heel Borgerhout, deels Antwerpen-Noord en Deurne heen. Ik ging mezelf een koude koffie halen uit de supermarkt, en weg was ik. Me, my coffee & basketsloefkes gingen ervoor. Het leek mij alsof ik een eeuwigheid weg was, maar eigenlijk was ik maar drie kwartier buiten. Ik verschoot dat de wijk achter mijn straat ineens zo veranderd was, hoe het pleintje waar ik als kind speelde helemaal gepimpt was, hoe weinig mensen er wel op straat zijn op zo’n zondag namiddag. Deze wandeling deed me goed, en ik besloot dit tot mijn routine toe te voegen: elke zondag, in de late ochtend maak ik een wandeling en stop ik even ergens voor een koffie om er aan mijn blog te werken of wat in te halen op gebied van lecture.

Dat deed ik ook de eerste zondag van het jaar. Man, wat een drukte! Het was koopzondag, en solden daar bovenop, wat haat ik dat! Dit doe ik dus nooit meer! De straten waren druk en ongezellig, en wou nog eens na lange tijd naar Caffènation, wat vroeger mijn favoriete koffiebar was, en het was er zo druk, maar voor de lekkere Flat Whites en Lattes kom ik graag terug, maar dan niet op een koopzondag of tijdens de soldenmaanden.

De blokperiode is toch officieel van start gegaan. Lange wandelingen zal ik dus de komende weken niet meer maken, en lang in Caffènation zal ik niet blijven zitten. Ik moet mij dringend eens focussen op mijn boeken en syllabi, wat trouwens op mijn goede-voornemens-lijst stond…

Tweewekelijks breng ik een weekboek uit, waarin ik zal zagen en klagen over mijn leven: over het daten en vooral niet daten, over het dieten, over het sporten en het studeren en over alles wat er tussenin gebeurt. Ik klaag ook graag op Twitter en Instagram dus als je een glimp van mijn leven wilt volgen op social media, moet jij je vooral niet generen om mij te volgen: Twitter: @sarahkafif, Instagram: @sarahkafif 

Until Next Time,

Love | Sarah K.

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Singlehood: About Halloween Night!

Column Singlehood - Banner3 years ago, on October 31st I became single, after a 9-month toxic relationship. You know about that if you read my previous columns. Zozo and I decided to go out and dress up a bit on Halloween. She went as a Playboy Bunny and I went as Minnie Mouse. We found a party to go to in a latin bar and decided to have fun.

I didn’t know if being single that day was a curse or a blessing. Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy to be single as I’m not confronted to a stupid man I’m killing my time with. But, on the other hand, I obviously miss dating a guy.

For some reason, that night we met a bunch of guys, and we were okay with that, as we like to observe people. HAHA! First off, we started the night at a bar we didn’t know. As we were dressed up, we got free shots. That was pretty cool and the bartender did look cute (even though it is hard to tell as he had the joker makeup all over his face, so maybe he could have been an ugly beast, once make up removed!). The party there wasn’t our jam, the people were much older, and we kind off got stalked by some drunken dude. We decided to move to that Halloween party in Cuba Bella, our local latin club across the street.

We were dancing in the middle of the dancefloor, all by ourselves, without being interrupted by anyone, until Zozo got to talk to a guy who wanted to dance with her. She had met hem previously and promised to dance with him “next time”, and I guess “next time” was this time. His friend asked me to dance, and I couldn’t say no because Zozo was dancing and it would be awkward if I said no. Even though the guy wasn’t my thing, and he was walking around in a tank top; yes, a freaking TANK TOP! Oh my lord, please! Once we started to dance, I really felt bad, I didn’t feel comfortable with him. It really annoyed me. Because, let’s face it, Mr. Tank Top wasn’t the ideal dance partner. This song couldn’t come to an end, and I was fully ignoring the guy I was dancing with. Awkward level 1555! Finally! We were done! ‘Come Zozo, let’s see what the other side of the bar has to offer.’ And off we went!

We sat in front of the bar were Italian tourists were standing too. For some reason, there was a tiny, chubby, blond Italian guy who thought I was pretty with my Minnie Mouse ears. So unfortunate I don’t fall for tiny, chubby and blond Italian men. So, I crossed him off my list. His friend had a thing for Zozo and asked us if we wanted to drink something, but we didn’t want to. To joke I told him the guy I was chitchatting with wanted to drink, and the Italian guy started to laugh and disappeared. 5 minutes later he came back with beer so, I said to the guy: “You should thank me for the drink, ’cause it’s because of me you got it!” We started to laugh, Zozo joined, his friends joined and we started to have a ‘group’ conversation.

I was totally not paying attention to his friend and I was totally not that friendly with him but for some reason, that guy told Zozo we had a connection! Exceezemewhat? A CONNECTION? WHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHHA! The best laugh I ever had. Let’s call him Mr. Rico, because that is the name he gave Zozo. Apparently Mr. Rico had a thing for me. I did not. He told me he was half Algerian, half Portuguese, after I told him I had Algerian roots. What a coincident, don’t you think? He did not speak Portuguese and he had a very Moroccan last name. Another coincident is that when I told him I live in Boho, he apparently lives in the most famous streets of Boho.

That’s why I don’t trust men that much anymore. Too many coincidences at once. He asked for my Facebook, I did not give him. He asked me how he could find me, I told him he would if it was meant to be. At this point, one month later, he still ain’t find me on that damned platform. It’s better like that. But Zozo, gave her number to his friend, which ended being a total disaster…

Each month I am going to tell you a piece of my singlehood story and my last relationship, that will lead us to where I am today. If you are interested in knowing more, stay tuned on my blog, because I will be posting an article each month to tell you more about it. I will not divulge any real names in it, if one day I use a name, I will make sure to change the name to another one, except if that person is okay with being named. 

Until Next Time, 

Love | Sarah K.

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Singlehood IIII: Freakshow of Stalkers!

Column Singlehood - Banner

2014 went by and somehow wanted to make friends in my class, and so I did. I became friends with Zoë and Ines. By that time in 2015, I was still very much single. I wanted to retire from the department of Singlehood, but things started to change a bit in that department.

March 2015, last week of school before Spring break. My girls and I decide to have cocktails at a student bar in the basement of our faculty. Having fun with a couple of girls was refreshing. I haven’t done that in a long time and made me nostalgic of the good old days, when I would have drinks with one of my girlfriends in a famous cocktail bar called Absithbar/Appelmans, and we would judge the guys in the bar, being flirty with these guys, etc. It made me think that I desperately needed to get rid of my stubborn and faithful job of mine, at the department of Singlehood. 

Not too long before that, on a Saturday afternoon, while working out at the gym with my sister, a guy comes up to me. He isn’t good looking, has no hair, around 30 years old, small and has a heavy accent when speaking Dutch, asks me if the bottle of water on the other elliptical is mine. Like, I would take a whole elliptical next to me, just to put my water bottle on it, because I do not have any space on my elliptical to put my bottle, who by the way, WAS ON my machine and it was very visible. Logical thinking wasn’t his biggest strength. I told him that it wasn’t mine, as I moved that same bottle from the elliptical my sister wanted to use, on the one next to me. Anyway, the guy puts the bottle on the floor next to the elliptical and starts to work out. After 5 minutes, he stops, goes on a treadmill, doesn’t stop looking at me, like a big creep, stops his workout on the treadmill to come back to the elliptical next to me, to ask me: ‘Is this bottle of water laying on the floor yours?’ ARE YOU FREAKISHLY KIDDIN’ ME????? ARE YOU FO’ REALZ? I hold myself from screaming and told him politely: ‘Once more, it isn’t mine!’ I knew at that very moment, I had my very first stalker of the year 2015, in front of me. This situation nerve wrecked my sister. She cannot handle annoying guys, certainly not the ones from the gym. We continued our workout, went straight ahead on strength exercises and somehow the guy was always somewhere near us, watching us. He’d even find an excuse to talk to me, as I dropped my phone and he told me I should buy a case to protect my phone. Like, I know shit about phones and cases, sure! I answered with a very short answer, but he’d still continue talking to me. My sister was on the verge of exploding, and I was too. He suddenly asks me: ‘Can we talk?’ I told him I’d rather not as he can see I was working out with my sister. He answered with: ‘I could try, you know.’ I really, really, wanted to get rid of this dude and my prayers were answered as I saw him talking to another girl, not so long after he was talking to me. STALKER, BAD STALKER, DESPERATE STALKER, BOOHOO! 

The next few days, he kept on looking at me, trying to get with other girls but didn’t talk to me, THANK GOD! Somewhat around the same time, once more at the gym, I was working out on the treadmill and suddenly a guy comes in, looks at me, I looked at him and the way he looked at me, seemed like he had found the love of his life! HAHA! He looks much older than me, he wasn’t my style AT ALL, but somehow, I liked the fact that he had given me a couple of seconds of attention. He looked very shy as he looked away, a couple of seconds after I had looked back. That happened every single day we came across each other at the gym. 

I called him « Mister Stalker » even though he didn’t stalk me at all, but I didn’t know his name, and as the way he looked at me came across as « stalkerish », I called him like that. I would tell the girls in my class each week about what happened with Mister Stalker and they would laugh, as it was pretty funny to have an update on such a situation. A couple of weeks after I ‘met’ him for the first time, nothing had happened yet. I was running on the treadmill when I saw him walking by the gym. He came in, I was on the cool down mode and no other treadmill was free at that point. He saw me slowing down and came up to me and asked: « Finished? » I nod that I was finished and gave him the treadmill. At that point, I did not realize he didn’t speak Dutch and that his English was pretty basic. I was curious to know where he came from… 

Each week I am going to tell you a piece of my singlehood story and last relationship, that will lead us to where I am today. If you are interested in knowing more, stay tuned on my blog, because I will be posting an article each week to tell you more about it. I will not divulge any real names in it, if one day I use a name, I will make sure to change the name to another one, except if that person is okay with being named. Obviously, I am not sharing any specific details about my ex or any involved men. We’ll call him Mister Small Penis.

Until Next Time, 

Love | Sarah K.

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Singlehood, Part II: I’m over Mister Small Penis!

Column Singlehood - Banner

Last week in Singlehood Part I: Damn it! It just got to me, he was one hell of an asshole and thinking about it made me realize why. I started cyberstalking him, to see what did chance in his life on social media, to see if he had someone else…

I’d gone through his BBM, WhatsApp, and Facebook. Suddenly, I see a girl post things on his wall, a little way too often, with ‘love’ emojis. Even though he stayed cool to all these messages, I knew this was just his way of hiding it. It got in my face like: That small-penised bastard had someone else! I don’t say he ‘cheated on me while we were together’ but to be with me he left his ‘booty call’ so why wouldn’t he leave me to be with this girl, right? I was fierce, I should have known that his leaving-his-bootycall-situation would turn out to be the same situation I’m in. I’m not going to lie, It got me down, but on the other hand, I kind of cyberstalked that girl and I quickly figured out that she has no future with him either. She isn’t religious, not from the same ethnic background and the background she is from, his mother hates the guts out of these people, #Racist. 

All the little things he said once just surfaced up to me. He once told me he was physically into these girls from ‘that ethnic background’. Now, the girl from ‘that ethnic background’ is suddenly pretty active on his Wall. She studies Law at the university, he told me he ‘studied’ law at the university (a lie I will talk about later). They are suddenly at the same parties ALL THE TIME. Come on, how much hints does a girl need to realize he was a sneaky bastard who used her? Oh and by the way, why do people who are overly active on social media with each other, are never on pictures together at these parties they are always at? Do you have something to hide, Mr. Small P.?

Sudden realization: he used me! I was just a past time baby till the next one arrived, but I’m sure she is just a past time baby too, till the next one arrives. It didn’t make me happy, but I thought: hey, I’m not the only one, so go on with your life, girl. That’s what I did. As I told you before, I went out, had too many drinks, great food and suddenly gained much weight. By the time I was completely done with him and wanted to meet new guys, I had gained so much weight that the insecureness got to me. I didn’t want to date any guy, any time soon. 

In the main time, I got my high school degree, went to college and that didn’t work out either. It became a whole mingle of things that gone wrong. I really felt like a piece of shit. I started college in January so I hadn’t had a full academic year. I fully started my first BA in October 2013, I met new people, made new friends and everything started to look like I was going to get a kick in the ass and everything would fall into place. There was a cute boy from abroad in my class and we got along (friendly speaking, bien sûr) but I quickly realized he had a girlfriend, #Bummer.  Okay, he has a girlfriend, so be it. He made me realize or made me make the click that I was 100% over Mister Small Penis. Unfortunately, my big sister died not so long ago, and not wanting to go into details, it didn’t better my situation. As she died very quickly, I decided that #YOLO was the way to go. I promised myself I would say yes to every invitation I got from friends. School was still a misery, I went out almost every single night, I belonged to a group of friends who were younger than I am and it fell good. I went to London with a couple of friends, had a blast all year round. But I forgot that I was single for one year and a half now. Did I care? I think I’ve got into the friend zone with… MYSELF! 

still

40877-Im-Single

By that time, I had gained ten kilograms since the relationship started, to April 2014. I did realize I was fat but somehow didn’t want to do anything about it. Dating people was not in my vocabulary. A friend told me about Tinder and I made an account, that wasn’t the best experience to be honest. I had a lot of matches but all were more into sex and not into dating, the ones who were into dating were straight dumbs assholes. This app made me insecure even more. I had gained a lot of weight and wasn’t going to show my naked self to any man on planet earth as long as I was looking like I did. College had gone worst, I had failed almost all my classes and couldn’t pass for them all in the resit period. I didn’t gain the required 50% and wasn’t allowed to study at this university anymore and didn’t see that coming. I had to make a choice ASAP and quickly decided I should go for a language teacher’s program. I came home crying after a week in that college, quit, and started Applied Linguistics all over again, in another university. By September 2014, still single. 

Each week I am going to tell you a piece of my singlehood story and last relationship, that will lead us to where I am today. If you are interested in knowing more, stay tuned on my blog because I will be posting an article each week to tell you more about it. I will not divulge any real names in it, if one day I use a name, I will make sure to change the name to another one, except if that person is okay with being named. Obviously, I am not sharing any specific details about my ex or any involved men. We’ll call him Mister Small Penis.

Until Next Time, 

Love | Sarah K.

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Column: Singlehood, Part I – Throwback Thursday to three years ago

Column Singlehood - BannerI have been single for a little less than 3 years now, and I feel that I should write about it, because it may be time for me to change that. Before I tell you why I should change my relationship status, I should tell you about my last one: 

Three years ago I was in a toxic relationship with someone I knew, it wouldn’t last forever. We did not share the same religious views (he was more religious than I am) and belongs to a family who looks down on people who are not from the same religious, ethnic and financial background than they are. Lucky him, we didn’t share anything in common on all three points, that was promising! He seemed sweet at first, and I myself didn’t have lots of boyfriends and found this to be the perfect opportunity to date him, even though, we were like ‘best friends’ at first and I knew by dating him, that the friendship would end at some point; I did it anyways. The only thing I gained out of this is the experience of having a 9-months-lasting-relationship, really, nothing else. 

After a six months relationship, the last summer of the relationship (around this time, three years ago), I wasn’t a happy person. It made me realize what we had was toxic and I should end it, ASAP. I did not, because I did not know how. As I was an unhappy person, I made him feel miserable from time to time and one day he just broke up with me (Halloween 2012), BOOM: trick or treat! I thought that this was my opportunity, I was free and felt that I should make him feel as he was the bad guy in this story, ‘cause he really just was, at the end. Me, being a great actress, I showed him what I got; I made him feel as I was madly in love with him, while I was not. We had a talk, face to face, and even though, I have to admit it, I was sad and had a hard time speaking, a part of me was still acting. For instance, when we had that talk, we had it in the apartment of a friend,  at the end we had nothing to say to each other and I decided to leave. As I knew he would follow 5 minutes later, I decided to stay in the elevator and pretend to cry in there, to make the bastard feel guilty. I know, it was evil, but he pretended to be sad too while this was all a joke to him. What a scumbag! I felt bad but still, I was convincing myself that he would regret it, wanted to start fresh and this could be the opportunity for me to break up with HIM! Yes, mam, I’ve got it all planned out! Unfortunately (or not), he was serious about the breakup and it finally got to me. He had someone else! I cried for a week, did not eat for 36 hours, lost 3 kilos and ended up depressed for six months. 

40877-Im-Single

During these six months, I cried over romantic songs I’m usually not emotional about; cried on the phone to a friend of mine about him ALL THE F-ING TIME; went out so much I gained so much weight that I ended up being disgusting. What I think broke me, was the fact that he broke up with me and not the other way around. I felt like I was the weak person who got broken up with. After six months, the crying ended, the depression: so-so. I was still depressed, but at least I did not cry over him anymore. Because, why would I? I was not even in love with him! He was definitely not my type; the sex was horrible; he literally had the smallest penis I had ever seen and the last six months of the relationship, he barely gave me any attention. Damn it! It just got to me, he was one hell of an asshole and thinking about it made me realize why. I started cyberstalking Mister Small Penis, to see what did chance in his life on social media to see if he had someone else…

Each week I am going to tell you a piece of my singlehood story and last relationship, that will lead us to where I am today. If you are interested in knowing more, stay tuned on my blog because I will be posting an article each week to tell you more about it. I will not divulge any real names in it, if one day I use a name, I will make sure to change the name to another one, except if that person is okay with being named. Obviously, I am not sharing any specific details about my ex or any involved men. We’ll call him Mister Small Penis.

Until Next Time, 

Love | Sarah K.

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