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Singlehood V: Miss Detective on a Mission

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I haven’t written a column for a long time because my laptop did an update and erased all the Notes I had, meaning everything I had prepared for my blog. Thank you very much, MacBook! I was so pissed that I didn’t open Notes for a long time, and here I am. Now, I have decided that I wouldn’t update the column weekly because I don’t have enough ‘stories’ to keep on rambling about, on my Singlehood, so I will upload one each month.

Anyway, last time I was talking about Mr. Stalker, whom I have talked to for the first time at the treadmill at my local gym. I didn’t realize he didn’t speak Dutch and his English was basic.

By that time, I had updated all my class maids about him, and a couple of friends. I told this story about the treadmill to a friend of mine, and if you don’t remember the story, here it is: I was running on the treadmill when I saw him walking by the gym. He came in, I was on the cool down mode and no other treadmill was free at that point. He saw me slowing down and came up to me and asked: « Finished? » I nod that I was finished and gave him the treadmill. At that point, I did not realize he didn’t speak Dutch and that his English was pretty basic.

This friend started laughing and told me it could come on handy to know the verb « finish » in other situations. I thought this was pretty hilarious. I like dirty jokes because I have a dirty mind. From that moment on I started to call him Mr. Finished, because that is just plain hilarious! 😉

Mr. Finished kept on eye-stalking me for months, and I kept being shy in his presence. No idea why, though. I don’t look him in the eye, I make sure I’m not too close to him at the gym. Somewhere, I’m scared he starts talking to me while I may not understand him and that is awkward.

But I was still curious to know where he was from. He does not speak Dutch, means he hasn’t been living in Belgium for a very long time. From the English I have heard from him, it’s pretty basic. The only language I know he speaks fluently is Arabic, but he has a weird accent, though. I’m not an expert on Middle Eastern Arabic, but it didn’t sound familiar to me. So, I’m such a curious person (my nickname is Detective), I decided to ask in a Facebook Group called Polyglots, what kind of Arabic it could be. Some gave me ideas but they couldn’t help me with the few information I had.

By that time, Ramadan was on, and I saw him eating and drinking in public. It kind of shocked me, as I expected him to be Muslim. Well, he could be a non-religious Muslim but as he probably just emigrated, most of these people are still pretty religious so I crossed that off my list. That made me think, again. With this whole situation in the Middle East, he could be a refugee (or ex-refugee probably) and where do non-Muslim refugees, from the Middle East come from these days? Iraq and Syria. My conclusion was: He must be a Yezidi. I started looking up information about the Yezidi people and indeed they are not Muslim (that is why they are persecuted) and some of them do speak Arabic at home, but they may have a different dialect from other standard-ish Iraqi Arabic.

That explained a lot about my thoughts, and I was pretty proud of myself that I had accomplished this whole mystery by myself. Well, I’m still not sure if he’s a Yezidi but he is got a friend at the gym who walks in a tank top and has a tattoo saying Yezidi on his arm so how obvious can it be? They’re always together, speak the same language, so I’m pretty sure this is the answer to my question. And that, made me curious even more…

Each month I am going to tell you a piece of my singlehood story and my last relationship, that will lead us to where I am today. If you are interested in knowing more, stay tuned on my blog, because I will be posting an article each week to tell you more about it. I will not divulge any real names in it, if one day I use a name, I will make sure to change the name to another one, except if that person is okay with being named. 

Until Next Time, 

Love | Sarah K.

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Singlehood IIII: Freakshow of Stalkers!

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2014 went by and somehow wanted to make friends in my class, and so I did. I became friends with Zoë and Ines. By that time in 2015, I was still very much single. I wanted to retire from the department of Singlehood, but things started to change a bit in that department.

March 2015, last week of school before Spring break. My girls and I decide to have cocktails at a student bar in the basement of our faculty. Having fun with a couple of girls was refreshing. I haven’t done that in a long time and made me nostalgic of the good old days, when I would have drinks with one of my girlfriends in a famous cocktail bar called Absithbar/Appelmans, and we would judge the guys in the bar, being flirty with these guys, etc. It made me think that I desperately needed to get rid of my stubborn and faithful job of mine, at the department of Singlehood. 

Not too long before that, on a Saturday afternoon, while working out at the gym with my sister, a guy comes up to me. He isn’t good looking, has no hair, around 30 years old, small and has a heavy accent when speaking Dutch, asks me if the bottle of water on the other elliptical is mine. Like, I would take a whole elliptical next to me, just to put my water bottle on it, because I do not have any space on my elliptical to put my bottle, who by the way, WAS ON my machine and it was very visible. Logical thinking wasn’t his biggest strength. I told him that it wasn’t mine, as I moved that same bottle from the elliptical my sister wanted to use, on the one next to me. Anyway, the guy puts the bottle on the floor next to the elliptical and starts to work out. After 5 minutes, he stops, goes on a treadmill, doesn’t stop looking at me, like a big creep, stops his workout on the treadmill to come back to the elliptical next to me, to ask me: ‘Is this bottle of water laying on the floor yours?’ ARE YOU FREAKISHLY KIDDIN’ ME????? ARE YOU FO’ REALZ? I hold myself from screaming and told him politely: ‘Once more, it isn’t mine!’ I knew at that very moment, I had my very first stalker of the year 2015, in front of me. This situation nerve wrecked my sister. She cannot handle annoying guys, certainly not the ones from the gym. We continued our workout, went straight ahead on strength exercises and somehow the guy was always somewhere near us, watching us. He’d even find an excuse to talk to me, as I dropped my phone and he told me I should buy a case to protect my phone. Like, I know shit about phones and cases, sure! I answered with a very short answer, but he’d still continue talking to me. My sister was on the verge of exploding, and I was too. He suddenly asks me: ‘Can we talk?’ I told him I’d rather not as he can see I was working out with my sister. He answered with: ‘I could try, you know.’ I really, really, wanted to get rid of this dude and my prayers were answered as I saw him talking to another girl, not so long after he was talking to me. STALKER, BAD STALKER, DESPERATE STALKER, BOOHOO! 

The next few days, he kept on looking at me, trying to get with other girls but didn’t talk to me, THANK GOD! Somewhat around the same time, once more at the gym, I was working out on the treadmill and suddenly a guy comes in, looks at me, I looked at him and the way he looked at me, seemed like he had found the love of his life! HAHA! He looks much older than me, he wasn’t my style AT ALL, but somehow, I liked the fact that he had given me a couple of seconds of attention. He looked very shy as he looked away, a couple of seconds after I had looked back. That happened every single day we came across each other at the gym. 

I called him « Mister Stalker » even though he didn’t stalk me at all, but I didn’t know his name, and as the way he looked at me came across as « stalkerish », I called him like that. I would tell the girls in my class each week about what happened with Mister Stalker and they would laugh, as it was pretty funny to have an update on such a situation. A couple of weeks after I ‘met’ him for the first time, nothing had happened yet. I was running on the treadmill when I saw him walking by the gym. He came in, I was on the cool down mode and no other treadmill was free at that point. He saw me slowing down and came up to me and asked: « Finished? » I nod that I was finished and gave him the treadmill. At that point, I did not realize he didn’t speak Dutch and that his English was pretty basic. I was curious to know where he came from… 

Each week I am going to tell you a piece of my singlehood story and last relationship, that will lead us to where I am today. If you are interested in knowing more, stay tuned on my blog, because I will be posting an article each week to tell you more about it. I will not divulge any real names in it, if one day I use a name, I will make sure to change the name to another one, except if that person is okay with being named. Obviously, I am not sharing any specific details about my ex or any involved men. We’ll call him Mister Small Penis.

Until Next Time, 

Love | Sarah K.

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Singlehood, Part III: Lawyered!

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Last time in Singlehood, Part II: I’m over Mister Small Penis:

By that time, I had gained ten kilograms since the relationship started, to April 2014. I did realize I was fat but somehow didn’t want to do anything about it. Dating people was not in my vocabulary. A friend told me about Tinder and I made an account, that wasn’t the best experience to be honest. I had a lot of matches, but all were more into sex and not into dating, the ones who were into dating were straight dumb assholes. This app made me insecure even more. I had gained a lot of weight and wasn’t going to show my naked self to any man on planet earth as long as I was looking like I did. College had gone worst, I had failed almost all my classes and couldn’t pass for them all in the resit period. I didn’t gain the required 50% and wasn’t allowed to study at this university anymore and didn’t see that coming. I had to make a choice ASAP and quickly decided I should go for a language teacher’s program. I came home crying after a week in that college, quit, and started Applied Linguistics all over again, in another university. By October 2014, still single. 

I couldn’t find my marks in here, I wasn’t friends with anyone, still thinking about last year where everything was great friendship wise. October went by, the first year anniversary of my sister’s death. I couldn’t believe it had been a year already. Update on my #YOLO project? Stil not very far, to be honest. I wasn’t in the mood either to yoloing the *ish out of everything. I felt like nothing. But at least, I wasn’t lying to my boyfriend about university, like Mister Small Penis did. About that story, Mister Small Penis told me he was in law school in Rotterdam when we met. At first, as I didn’t know Mister Small Penis, I believed him. You know, giving people the benefit of the doubt, right? After knowing him a bit, I quickly realized that him being in Law School is extremely ambitious. He was a slow minded person. He did speak his first language on a mother tongue level (I guess??) but, his English and Dutch were rotten and the rest of his polygotness, inexistent. He then told me his mom paid 8000 euros for his entire BA at Erasmus University while this is not how tuition goes in Holland. You pay year by year as you do not know if you can actually pass a year in college as you have to gain all credits back in order to pass to BA 2, fully. And back then tuition fee for a year in a Dutch College was around €1700,00 x 3 years in Law School = €5100,00. He also told me that he got a train abonnement from Antwerp to Rotterdam from the university, which after a little research, doesn’t exist. And when I confronted him with all these facts, he didn’t know what to say, as ‘Mommy did all the paperwork for him’. So, who are you trying to impress here, really? No one, indeed. Then, at the end of his so-called First BA in Law School, I asked him if he had any retakes to do (which you expect from a guy who isn’t that clever, I could even say, plain stupid.) and the answer was NO. He also had plenty of time to wake up around 10 during the finals, could study 3 to 4 hours a day and go to the gym at night like it’s all a piece of cake. Oh, oh! And he called me a couple of times during the academic year, telling me he was in class (in Holland, obviously) and hung on the phone for an hour, while I told him he shouldn’t call me as it is very expensive but he’d always tell me ‘Don’t worry, don’t worry, my mom pays the bill’ and as it an international phone call, I’d expect to pay half way through the conversation, but I never had to. And my true detective-self would found this to be strange and check his ‘flag’ on BBM that would tell me if he was in Holland yes or no and as I guessed, never of these times he would suppose to be in Holland, the Dutch flag would come up. NEVER.  

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So Mister Small Penis not only had a small penis, he was a filthy lying prick too. Oh, oh! I was Googling ‘Mister Small Penis’ to see if this term was already in use (but it wasn’t) and I found a picture of sizes of penises and conclusion: we should call him Mister Extra Small Penis, as a ‘small penis’ was bigger than his, but we’re not going to do that, as I like Mister Small Penis as a name. In my case a name, in his case a Lifestyle and fact. For some reason, I’d like to prank him at the moment. Just because I feel like I should give Karma a push in the back. I once told him that one day Karma would take him back and I’d be watching him on the front row, but that day hasn’t come yet, and I’m really in doubt about if that day will ever come. 

Karma did somehow hit him after the breakup. A little before the breakup, the gym we went to was going to swap from being a HealthCity (an all inclusive gym) to Basic-Fit (a basic no facilities gym). He obviously wasn’t going to workout in a basic gym, so he was going to switch to HealthCity in Berchem. I would too, as it was the closest to where the other gym was and I fully used the sauna, tanning bed, and other facilities. At that time, we were still together but he started weird conversations about the gym, quite often. Saying it wasn’t a good idea going to that gym in Berchem because all his friends were there, he couldn’t give me any attention, etc. Pure Bull crap, I ruminated about for days. Literally, a day before the final day our gym was a HealthCity, he broke up with me! Don’t you think it’s weird? I did! That’s why he didn’t convince me to swap to another HealthCity in the city. Starting from November 2012, I went to HealthCity Berchem, and he was there too. He’d see me every single day and he’d look down to the ground, as of he was ashamed. He’d better look down, that son of a *****! He somehow became my motivation to go to the gym, this way I’d stay thin. I got quickly over that gym, left it as it was far from where I live and moved to HealthCity Keyserlei, in the city. 

2014 went by and somehow wanted to make friends in my class, and so I did. I became friends with Zoë and Ines. By that time in 2015, I was still very much single. I wanted to retire from the department of Singlehood, but things started to change a bit in that department. 

Each week I am going to tell you a piece of my singlehood story and last relationship, that will lead us to where I am today. If you are interested in knowing more, stay tuned on my blog because I will be posting an article each week to tell you more about it. I will not divulge any real names in it, if one day I use a name, I will make sure to change the name to another one, except if that person is okay with being named. Obviously, I am not sharing any specific details about my ex or any involved men. We’ll call him Mister Small Penis.

Until Next Time, 

Love | Sarah K.

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Summer Update!

Finals over, diet K.O.

Last time I have written a post I was determinated to go healthy all the way. Unfortunately (read the first article) I went all up and then all down. The first week of the exams was good, I ate normal and healthy and went to the gym four times. I woke up every single day at 6 A.M and studied all day long. First exam arrived and the struggle got real! I knew I was going to fail, the motivation got me down and bad food saw the light of my mouth.

It got me thinking about the future of my studies and had to make a huge decision. I will talk about it later when it is finalized (circa. September/October 2015).

Anyway, I have some time to blog now and opened a YouTube account. I have a shopping haul on its way, a foodlog that I have filmed during the exams, etc. Subscribe to my channel, this way you will be updated when I upload a video.

I am reviewing loads of products, I still need to figure out how to make nice pictures to show you, though. 😉

Until Next Time,

Love | Sarah K.

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The benefits of water during the exams (and all times!)

I have been reading a lot of articles these last couple of days, about how I should improve my entire exam period, health wise. I came across an article in a Belgian newspaper about the effects of water on our body/health. As it is in Dutch, some of you will not understand a single word of it, and that is why I am going to recapitulate the entire article for you, because first of all water is quite important in your life AND during the exams, second of all I like to analyse things and try them out for you, for me, for everybody. 
 
Basically, our body consist of 60 to 70% of water and we sweat, breath and urinate moisture, which we need to compensate with enough of our fluid intake. The amount of water we should drink depends on a couple of factors: how active we are; our health; where we live, and what we drink in a day. 
 
A study has shown that in a normal situation, the adult human being needs to drink around 2,5 liters of water per day to keep the water balance in place. This includes our food intake. But, in our Western European climate we only need 1,5 liters of water per day.
 
When I say water, I mean any liquid but when you drink a glass of water versus a glass of Coke, coffee, tea, etc. it will not have the same effect on you. Coffee and tea are slightly diuretic, which results in the need to compensate much more while water is pure hydration/fuel for your body. Alcohol is the most diuretic of them all, so you will need even more water to compensate that. 
 
 
Anyways, I think you get it. A well-hydrated body is healthy and has a better connection to your brain because water fuels the body AND the brain. It helps you function much better because when you are dehydrated you are energyless which results little concentration on whatever you do. Furthermore, as I want to lose weight during my finals, what the article mentioned as well is the more you drink, the more it gives your body the opportunity to burn fat, and is this not what we all want? The other option is to drink two glasses of water before any meal. This creates the illusion of being full and results in eating less, and re-results in losing weight = WIN-WIN! 
 
One last and important point is that the brain shrinks when we work out for at least 90 minutes without hydrating ourselves. This is not what we want, right? We need our brain during the exams, so ladies and gentlemen, drink water whenever you can! 
 
After knowing this all, we will be able to hydrate ourselves well during the entire period of finals. Now, what am I going to do? I am going to try the two glasses of water before any meal; drink as much water during my workout, and watch my “anything-else-but-water” consumption and compensate it with an extra water intake. 
 
I decided to vlog the entire period during finals. Hopefully, you will like it, as much as I am excited to film everything. You will be able to follow me on my water intake this way. I am the kind of person who could forget to drink water once in a while because I am next to never thirsty. So, don’t forget to subscribe to my YouTube channel and get my videos from the moment they are up. 😉 
 
Until Next Time, 
 
Love | Sarah K.
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Healthy during exams


Last time I wrote a blog post I was determined to go healthy ALL THE WAY. Unfortunately, I have not tried to be healthy at all. The food that has passed through my mouth is unbelievable! I have not felt this miserable since a long time and I really need to change that, because my exams will start soon and we all know it is not a good idea to feel miserable during that period, and junk food will not fuel my brain, keep me motivated, etc. 

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I made a schedule for my exams: waking up early, study at least 10h a day, take breaks regularly, go to the gym 3 to 4 times a week, etc. The only thing I did not do is a food schedule, which I desperately need. Lots of fruits, veggies, complex carbohydrates, lots of water, tea and coffee. Just before writing this I was watching the news and a nutritionist was talking about complex carbs, that they pass through the digestive system, they are broken down into glucose and they are your brain and body’s primary fuel. Vitamins, fiber, and minerals are what I need to pass through exams. 
This morning I ate something with simple carbs and a café au lait (with skimmed milk), it is okay, as long as I do not exaggerate. I finished half the stuff I had to do for today, which I am happy about. At lunch, I had two slices of spelt bread with shrimps and a little touch of cream (I know it is not good!), but overall everything so far so good. 


My goal is to lose 7 kilos by July 1st, 2015, 1 kilo per week is doable. It should not be difficult to be healthy during the exams, and I want to prove it. Should I blog about it, vlog about? Let me know if you read this. 
 

Until then, 

Love | Sarah K.

PS: I added a picture of brain foods I need during the exams. 🙂 Enjoy! 

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Why is it so hard to lose weight?

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I have been on a diet my entire life! Yes, it is true, I have been on a diet since I was a little chubby girl. According to my mother, I have been chubby since I was 18 months old. And since I can remember, I have visited dietitians since I was 6 or 7 years old.
 
When I turn 12 and puberty started to show, being on a diet finally payed off. I lost some weight and looked (what I thought was) skinny. I actually was not, according to medicine. I was 1m68 and 67 kg for the age of 12/13. But I looked good, my face was even too boney to my taste, but I was wearing EU size 38 in pants and it felt GREAT!
 
Since I was 12 I had gained, lost, gained again, lost again en gained AGAIN! I have never been more than a year without fully NOT complaining about my weight. At the age of 18, I had reached the point where I was at my heaviest. I was depressed, decided to switch schools, had a new job, and my sister had just subscribed to a gym and this was my chance because daddy wanted to pay for the subscription fee.
 
I enrolled, got some personal training for free with my subscription and was determined to lose the weight at any cost. At first it was hard. I was never the sporty type, and suddenly I had to visit the gym 5 times a week. After a couple of weeks, it became my DRUG! 5 to 6 times a week, I was a regular at my gym! Made friends, knew every single person who worked there, I was even closing the gym (almost) every single night. After 4 months of heavy fitness training, clean eating, I had lost 13 kg and a depression. My self-esteem got a boost and I was ready to flirt with the dating scene.
 
I started dating and suddenly did not care about my eating habits anymore. Why is that? Why do girls always lose interest in health once they are off the hook? I regretted. By beginning of 2015, 4 years after I had lost 13 kilograms, I had gained the 13 kilos + 5 extra kilos. I felt like the biggest loser in the world! I, again, decided it was time to change that.
 
My mother swears by a book she bought 20 to 30 years ago, who made her loose weight when she needed to. This book promises you to loose 8 kilograms by eating clean for 21 days and having a break for a week. To encourage me, my mother joined me and we ate clean for 19 days. I had lost 5 kilograms, I was bloody happy, did not need any sweets anymore, I felt great! Till the day I decided I could handle a little treat. Started from that day, it all went wrong. Long story short, I discovered the Military Diet, did lose weight, gained it mostly back after eating “normal” again. Did it 2 to 3 times to speed up the process of “looking good for Pal Mundo Festival”, the event I had planned during Spring Break a month ago. 
 
We are a month later and I have eaten sh*t the entire time! Why is it so hard to lose weight, and keep track? the only thing I have kept is the gym, I have been going to the gym 4 to 5 times a week religiously. Now, I am writing this blog post, while eating chips (yes ma’am, it is the truth!), because I have decided, once more that it is enough! In the first place, I wanted to lose some weight these last months because I had that Festival I had to go to during Spring Break and I wanted to look good in my dress. I had lost these 5 kilograms by the time of the Festival (Pal Mundo in Ahoy Rotterdam, by the way), and I did look good in my dress. By that time I had no restrictions for myself anymore and I kept eating unhealthy things. Now, I don’t have any particular events coming up, I will not go on vacation this year, I have plenty of work and sh*t to finish for school that I will be dragging till at least August 2015. Results? I want to lose weight for MYSELF, take the time to lose it because I want to look good for myself FOREVER, not for a particular event that is coming up. 
 
While I finish up my bag of chips, read my words: from tomorrow May 4th 2015 I will be eating healthy, keep a “diet” of 1300 kcal per day, I will keep track on MyFitnessPal as I did before, I will drink at least 2 liters of water per day and go to the gym between 3 to 5 times a week.
 
Until Next Time,
Love | Sarah K.
 
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